I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Everyone says I win the strip club
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
