My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
