I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
