If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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