honey bunches of taint.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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