This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
