his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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