No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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