with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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