ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
