Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
