It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
