they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize