So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize