So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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