toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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