haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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