im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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