Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
