He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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