My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
