i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
