is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
