he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
