that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
