The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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