Sponge bath it is.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize