I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
