i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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