maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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