are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
