Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
