i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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