Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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