So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
