Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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