He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
