I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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