why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
