I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
