Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
