so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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