mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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