be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
