ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
