just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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