and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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