Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
