GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
