ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
