thus making me awesome and them whores
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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