Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
