i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We had sex on a dog bed..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
