It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
