I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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