arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
