I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
