I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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