It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
His nipple licking is glorious
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